Two years ago, there was a movie called Paranorman.
It didn’t do so good at the box office, despite it being one of the most important, game changing animated movies since the Disney renaissance. It made its money back, but it wasn’t the smash hit Frozen was.
And this is a fucking tragedy.
I remember doing a double-take at this scene when the stereotypical football player calmly, unabashedly, so incredibly simply, as if there was no stigma (and there isn’t, there SHOULDN’T BE) told the head cheerleader figure who was hitting on him throughout the movie that she would love his boyfriend. I hit rewind, watched the scene again, squealed and showed it to my suitemates and friends who were in the common room.
Don’t get me wrong…I enjoyed Frozen, but I do feel that a lot of the hype it received should have been for other movies. The shopkeeper waving to his husband and children? It was a split second scene, something you probably would notice only if you hit rewind and pause. And even then, it remained ambiguous whether or not the family was the shopkeeper’s. Could have easily been a brother (though I do believe he is a gay figure). But here we have Paranorman, featuring a main a character who is UNDENIABLY gay, and we are praising Frozen for its inclusion of an ambiguous gay character. I remember reading somewhere that people don’t get excited for animated films unless they’re under the Disney/Pixar brand name, and I think that is quite true, and sad because there are so many more animation companies that deserve our love and recognition, companies which come up with story lines that don’t feature princesses and love interests, have emphasized male-female friendships in a platonic manner, have emphasized the importance of imagination and environmentalism, and were creating strong, revolutionary female protagonists long before Merida and Anna hit the big screen. This is definitely something I want to write more about, and I will probably edit this post later, but what a wonderful point the-fury-of-a-time-lord brings up. And what a wonderful username, to boot.
You are 12. You’re at the library looking for some generic young adult fiction novel about a girl who falls for her best friend. Your dad makes a disgusted face. “This is about lesbians,” he says. The word falls out of his mouth as though it pains him. You check out a different book and cry when you get home, but you aren’t sure why. You learn that this is not a story about you, and if it is, you are disgusting.
You are 15. Your relatives are fawning over your cousin’s new boyfriend. “When will you have a boyfriend?” they ask. You shrug. “Maybe she’s one of those lesbians,” your grandpa says. You don’t say anything. You learn that to find love and acceptance from your family, you need a boyfriend who thinks you are worthy of love and acceptance.
You are 18. Your first boyfriend demands to know why you never want to have sex with him. He tells you that sex is normal and healthy. You learn that something is wrong with you.
You are 13. You’re at a pool party with a relative’s friend’s daughter. “There’s this lesbian in my gym class. It’s so gross,” she says. “Ugh, that’s disgusting,” another girl adds. They ask you, “do you have any lesbians at your school?” You tell them no and they say you are lucky. You learn to stay away from people.
You are 20. You have coffee with a girl and you can’t stop thinking about her for days afterwards. You learn the difference between a new friendship and new feelings for a person.
You are 13. Your mom is watching a movie. You see two girls kiss on screen. You feel butterflies and this sense that you identify with the girls on the screen. Your mom gets up and covers the screen. You learn that if you are like those girls, no one wants to see it.
You are 20. You and your friends are drunk and your ex-boyfriend dares you to make out with your friend. You both agree. You touch her face. It feels soft and warm. Her lips are small and her hands feel soft on your back. You learn the difference between being attracted to someone and recognizing that someone you care about is attractive.
You are 16. You find lesbian porn online. Their eyes look dead and their bodies are positioned in a way that you had never imagined. You learn that liking girls is acceptable if straight men can decide the terms.
You are 20. You are lying next to a beautiful girl and talking about everything. You tell her things that you don’t usually tell anyone. You learn how it feels not to want to go to sleep because you don’t want to miss out on any time with someone.
You are 15. Your parents are talking about a celebrity. Your dad has a grin on his face and says, “her girlfriend says that she’s having the best sex of her life with her!” You learn that being a lesbian is about the kind of sex you have and not how you love.
You are 18. You are in intro to women’s and gender studies. “Not all feminists are lesbians- I love my husband! Most of the feminists on our leadership team are straight! It’s just a stereotype,” the professor exclaims. You learn that lesbianism is something to separate yourself from.
You are 21 and you are kissing a beautiful girl and she’s your girlfriend and you understand why people write songs and make movies and stupid facebook statuses about this and time around you just seems to stop and you could spend forever like this and you learn that there is nothing wrong with you and you are falling in love.
You are 21. And you are okay.